Pregnancy – The Creation of a Human Being
Coping With Depression
By H. Jordan
Narrated By 'Abdullah bin Mus'ud : Allah's Apostle, the true and truly inspired said, "(The matter of the Creation of) a human being is put together in the womb of the mother in forty days, and then he becomes a clot of thick blood for a similar period, and then a piece of flesh for a similar period. Then Allah sends an angel who is ordered to write four things. He is ordered to write down his (i.e. the new creature's) deeds, his livelihood, his (date of) death, and whether he will be blessed or wretched (in religion). Then the soul is breathed into him. So, a man amongst you may do (good deeds till there is only a cubit between him and Paradise and then what has been written for him decides his behavior and he starts doing (evil) deeds characteristic of the people of the (Hell) Fire. And similarly a man amongst you may do (evil) deeds till there is only a cubit between him and the (Hell) Fire, and then what has been written for him decides his behavior, and he starts doing deeds characteristic of the people of Paradise." (Sahih Bukhari Vol. 4, Book 54, Hadith 430)
Pregnancy can be one of the happiest times in a woman’s life, but it is also a time of turmoil, emotions, anxiety, and lastly depression for some. In Islam, during the pregnancy this is the time when woman get to pray normally without a break for 9 months and there may be a lot of wisdom in that. This is also the time when men are not allowed to divorce their wives. They have to wait until the woman delivers the baby before the divorce is final. There is also a lot of wisdom in that. Woman can be very emotional during pregnancy and they may say and do things that are outside of her normal character. A lot of woman are put in iddah during a pregnancy and sometimes after they deliver the husband will take them back. In some cases, it’s because of the child and in other cases the father sees again the beauty in his wife and her character starts to go back to normal.
The statistics state that approximately 10-20% of women will struggle with some symptoms of depression during pregnancy, and a quarter to half of these will suffer from major depression.
Depression is a mood disorder that affects 1 in 4 women at some point during their lifetime, so it should be no surprise that this illness would also touch women who are pregnant. But all too often, depression is not diagnosed properly during pregnancy because people think it is just another type of hormonal imbalance; this assumption can be dangerous for the mother and the unborn baby.
Depression is an illness that can be treated and managed during pregnancy, but the first step of seeking out help and support is the most important.
Depression during pregnancy, or antepartum depression, is a mood disorder just like clinical depression. Mood disorders are biological illnesses that involve changes in brain chemistry. During pregnancy hormone changes can affect brain chemicals, which is directly related to depression and anxiety. These can be exacerbated by difficult life situations, which can result in depression during pregnancy.
Some signs of depression during pregnancy include difficulty concentration, lack of enjoyment in activities one used to enjoy, sleeping too much or not enough, sadness that just won’t go away, and recurring thoughts of death or hopelessness.
Some things that can trigger off depression during pregnancy include relationship problems, fertility problems, previous pregnancy loss, relationship problems, stress at work or inability to cope with the side effects of pregnancy, and family history of depression.
If the depression is not dealt with during the pregnancy, this can pose a risk to the mother and baby. It can lead to poor nutrition, unhealthy habits, and suicidal behavior, which then may cause premature birth, low birth weight, and developmental problems.
Depressed woman don’t normally have the motivation or strength to care for himself or herself or their developing baby and may feel apathetic and hopeless about life, which cause problems.
As far as treatment for depression during pregnancy, the most important thing is to seek help. Talk with your doctor about your symptoms and struggles. Let your spouse and close friends know about your problems so they can be a support to you. Maybe you are doing too much and just need a bit of health. Sometimes women who have other responsibilities can become overwhelmed during pregnancy, which inevitably leads to anxiety, stress, and depression. The most important thing is to take care of you and the baby and leave the rest on the back burner. If you work then discuss reducing your hours or work or even quitting work if it is financially possible. If you have other kids let them know that you need help now and children will listen and try to be supportive and understanding. Turn to Allah and increase in your worship of Allah and don’t despair of the power of dua as Allah does answer the dua of the believer if they are patient. Talk to other Muslim sisters who are pregnant and maybe even start a support group amongst pregnant sisters or even sisters who just had a baby as they too will be going through emotional upheaval with post-partum depression. Sometimes what is really needed is just a friend to turn to and share what is going on. If there is no one then there are many online groups of sisters that you can find through yahoo groups for Muslim sisters striving with the same problems. If there isn’t one suitable then start your own one and advertise it and believe me people will come.
There are also some medications that can be prescribed during pregnancy and if the depression is severe the benefit may outweigh any possible harm. Try to find a Muslim doctor who will give you Islamic advice as well as medical advice on solutions and remedies.
And finally remember that with every difficulty there is ease and Allah does not burden a soul with more than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns and it suffers every ill that it earns.