Advice to those unable to Conceive

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Question: A woman is grieving because she is not pregnant; And sometimes she cries and ends up thinking a lot and becomes withdrawn from life, so what is the ruling and what advice do you have for her?

Response: It is not befitting for this woman to grieve and cry because she is unable to conceive. This is because the natural ability in the man and the woman to conceive and have children, whether they be male only or female only or part male and part female, and the inability of the man and the woman to conceive - all of this is by the decree of Allaah ('Azza wa Jall). He (Subhaanau wa Ta'aala) says:

{To Allaah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills, and bestows male (offspring) upon whom He wills. Or He bestows both males and females, and He renders barren whom He wills. Verily, He is All-Knower and is Able to do all things}, Soorah ash-Shooraa, Aayahs 49-50

So He ('Azza wa Jall) is All-Knowing as to who is deserving of all these, and is All Able to do what He chooses.

And there is a good example for the female questioner in (the story of) Yahya ibn Zakariyyaa and 'Eesaa ibn Maryam (upon them both be peace); Neither of the two had children, so, she is required to be content (with what Allaah has decreed for her) and ask Allaah for her needs, as He has the most encompassing Wisdom and Ability.

And there is no harm in her presenting herself to some of the specialist female doctors, and male doctors should she be unable to find a specialist female doctor. It is quite possible that which is preventing her from conceiving can be treated such as blocked tubes. And likewise, it is befitting that her husband present himself to a specialist male doctor since it is quite possible that he himself is the cause of his wife not being able to conceive.

And with Allaah lies all success and may Allaah send prayers and salutations upon our Prophet Muhammad (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) and his family and his companions.

The Permanent Committee for Islaamic Research and Verdicts
Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa.imah lil-Buhooth al-'Ilmiyyah wal-Iftaa. - Fatwa No.8844
al-Fataawa al-Muta'alliqah bit-Tibb wa Ahkaam al-Mardhaa - Pages 308-309

How to let go of guilt and learn to forgive

From the Qur'an
{It is part of the Mercy of Allah that you deal gently
with them. Were you severe or harsh-hearted, they would have
gone away from you: so pass over (their faults), and
ask for (Allah's) forgiveness for them; and consult them in the
affairs (of the moment). Then, when you have taken a decision, place
your trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who place their trust
(in Him).} 3:159

[Lessons from this verse] It is not the snake bite that kills,
it's the venom that flows through the blood. The antidote is
forgiving people. Don't let anger rent space in your mind and
heart. Forgive and pass over people's faults.

"Strength of character means the ability to overcome resentment against others, to hide hurt feelings, and to forgive quickly."


"To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless."


"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."


"Do everything. Love as much as you can. it may hurt but it helps us grow. Give all you have...you may be poor but you will be content. Always forgive....your heart can not afford not to. Teach what you know and learn what you don't. Stay open to all"

"Before you speak, listen.
Before you write, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you invest, investigate.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
Before you retire, save.
Before you die, give."

"Do more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practice. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work."



A kindergarten teacher decided to let her class play a game. The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates.

So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go for 1 week.

Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags.

After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended. The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?" The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.

Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game.

The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime???"

Moral:
Throw away any hatred for anyone from your heart so that you will not carry sins for a life time. Forgiving others is the best attitude to take! Forget & Forgive!!!

WE HAVE ALL DONE THINGS THAT WE ARE NOT PROUD OF. Perhaps we were not there for a friend when they needed us, or we may have been responsible for unhappiness in our family. These sorts of past actions can leave us feeling ashamed and guilty, and we can end up carrying our guilt for years.

Guilt is probably one of the most debilitating and negative emotions there is – one that can, and often does, destroy a person's life. But if we want to live happy lives, we need to deal with the consequences of our past actions and move on, rather than allowing our lives to be wracked with guilt.

Feeling guilty should not be confused with taking responsibility for our past. Responsibility means "the ability to respond", and therefore taking responsibility means that we actively address the consequences of our actions in whatever way we can, in particular by changing our behavior patterns. Taking responsibility also includes moving on by making peace with the past.

Unlike taking responsibility, which is redeeming and positive, guilt has absolutely no value. Guilt does not encourage us to change in positive ways but debilitates us, leaving us unable to take the action we need to bring about change.

Breaking out of the guilt cycle
As a behavior pattern, guilt often becomes a self-perpetuating cycle: we do something, we feel guilty about it, we punish ourselves and, because we feel bad, we end up repeating our behavior at the next available opportunity.

This debilitating cycle continues largely because we do not take full responsibility for our actions or for changing our behavior. So how do we start the process of taking responsibility? By considering, with complete honesty, the part we play in any situation and by accepting our role in creating the events.

The purpose of this self-examination is to evaluate truthfully whatever occurred so that we can learn how we contributed. Through learning and honest self-assessment, we change our thinking and behavior. We can also forgive ourselves and move on with experience and wisdom.

Real forgiveness
In this process, forgiveness is vital. However, forgiveness is not what we generally believe it to be.

Real forgiveness has nothing to do with feeling of "sorry or apologizing" – neither of which actually changes anything. True forgiveness is contained in its literal meaning. The word "forgive" is very old, and the prefix "for" means literally "to reject." So the word as a whole means "to reject the giving".

We need "to reject the giving" because, if we think we have wronged someone, we use our sense of guilt to "give" to that person. By giving, we hope to make it better, and to exonerate ourselves from our actions. Conversely, if we feel that someone has wronged us, we will continue to demand payment for that offense, and thus want the other person to "give" to us.

But giving from a sense of guilt can never lead us to forgiveness. Neither can forgiveness be bestowed by another; it has to be brought about by ourselves. In the end, unless we can reject all this giving and truly forgive ourselves, we can never really move on and be free of the past.

How does forgiveness work in practice? Say that you have had a history of being abusive towards others, but have started to take responsibility for your past by changing your behavior. The reality is that you can still have unresolved feelings about what you have done. The process of forgiveness enables you to resolve these unresolved feelings so that you can move on.

It is important to remember that feeling bad about the past never really allows us to move on. What's more, if we indulge in feeling bad, this implies that we view our past as meaningless and of no value. What a waste! For, if we have caused harm, surely we should try to learn from our actions rather than living with a heap of regrets?

Forgiving ourselves involves finding value in our experiences. Instead of just writing off an experience as a painful episode, and trying to forget it, we should look for the value in that experience and try to take out of the experience whatever we can learn.

Toltecs look upon life as a journey of learning, and say that all true learning or knowledge is experiential. Because we are stubborn and tend to avoid change, much of our learning does come about through painful experiences. However, if we wish to grow and to use our experiences as a learning curve, it is vital that we focus on what we have learned, rather than the pain.

By searching for learning and value from our past, we ensure that there is no more need to give or demand payment - we can, indeed, "reject the giving" and so forgive.

To take meaning and value out of any situation, simply ask, "What has this taught me? What lessons can I learn: about myself, about others and about my life? How can I use this new knowledge to change my thinking and behavior and help others avoid the same trap?"

In this light our past, instead of being meaningless and shameful, has a positive and life-enhancing value. By learning to handle our past, and by taking the steps to forgive ourselves in the true sense of the word, we can let go of the debilitating consequences of guilt, and finally move on.

"Say: 'O my servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." Surah Al-Zumar, chapter 39 verse 53-55



Courtesy: T H É U N M A R E S

A Sermon of `Abdullah Ibn Mas`ood

Related by Abu Nu`aim in Hilyat al-Awliyaa'


Amr ibn Thabit narrated that `Abdullaah ibn Mas`ood said in one of his sermons: "Surely the most truthful speech is that of the Qur'aan, the Book of Allah; and the best of covenants and bonds are an expression of piety; the best of persuasions is that of Ibraaheem and the best of traditions are those of Muhammad. The most noble and exalted of speeches and conversations is to talk about Allah the best and most truthful of stories are told in the Qur'aan; the worth of a good deed will show at the end, and the most evil of deeds are innovations; to have less of what satisfies one's needs is better than to have aplenty one cannot compass or control; the worst self-blaming (nafsu lawwaama) is sorrow when death comes to seize the person, and the worst grief is to have regret on the Day of Judgment; the worst of aberration is to stray from Allah's path after receiving His guidance; true prosperity is to have satisfaction and contentment; the best provision for the hereafter is piety; suspicion is a branch of apostasy; the worst blindness is that of the heart; wine is the source of every evil; the temptation about women is the rope of Shaytaan; teenage heralds the growing up of arrogance and folly; mourning losses is a pagan act; some people come late to the Friday's congregational prayers, dragging their feet, and they speak of Allaah illusively.

In fact, to lie is the greatest sin; to insult a believer is an act of insolence; and to fight a believer is apostasy. The sanctity of the property of a believer is as sacred as his life; one who pardons the sins of others, Allah will forgive him his sins, and one who swallows his anger, Allah will reward him, one who forgives others, Allah will forgive him, and one who bears his adversity,
Allah will reward him aplenty.

The most evil of earnings is money made of usury and accumulation of interest; the worst of food is to eat up the inheritance of orphan. The luckiest of people is one who takes heed of the reason behind others' misfortunes; and the unlucky is thus conceived in the womb of his mother. Sufficient for you is what satisfies your basic needs; surely the lag of one's journey will culminate in a grave six linear feet long; one's real goal will eventually be seen at the end, - and truth will surely manifest at the end. The results of one's actions will expose his initial intention; the worst story is a lie; the best death is that of a martyr; one who knows the value of adversities will bear them, and one who does not understand that will question the reason behind them. Allah will surely bring an arrogant person to humiliation. Whosoever vies to capture the world will reach a dead end, and whosoever obeys Shaytaan would have disobeyed Allah and finally, whosoever disobeys Allah will be punished in hell-fire."

Preventing Majic Before it Happens

What are the prescribed means of warding off sihr before it happens?.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

Among the most important means of warding off the danger of sihr before it happens is seeking protection through the adhkaar (dhikr) prescribed in Islam, making du’aa’ and reciting prayers seeking refuge that were narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). These include:

1 – Reciting Aayat al-Kursiy [al-Baqarah 2:255] after every prescribed prayer, after reciting the adhkaar which are prescribed after the salaam.

2 – Reciting Aayat al-Kursiy when going to sleep. This is the greatest aayah in the Qur’aan, in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Allaah! Laa ilaaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), Al-Hayyul-Qayyum (the Ever Living, the One Who sustains and protects all that exists). Neither slumber nor sleep overtakes Him. To Him belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth. Who is he that can intercede with Him except with His Permission? He knows what happens to them (His creatures) in this world, and what will happen to them in the Hereafter. And they will never compass anything of His Knowledge except that which He wills. His Kursiy extends over the heavens and the earth, and He feels no fatigue in guarding and preserving them. And He is the Most High, the Most Great”

[al-Baqarah 2:255]

3 – Reciting “Qul huwa Allaahu ahad”, “Qul a’oodhu bi Rabb il-Falaq” and “Qul a’oodhu bi Rabb il-Naas” [i.e., the last three soorahs of the Qur’aan] following every prescribed prayer, and reciting these three soorahs (three times) at the beginning of the day after Fajr prayer, and at the beginning of the night after Maghrib prayer.

4 – Reciting the last two aayahs of Soorat al-Baqarah at the beginning of the night. These are the aayahs in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“The Messenger (Muhammad) believes in what has been sent down to him from his Lord, and (so do) the believers. Each one believes in Allaah, His Angels, His Books, and His Messengers. (They say,) ‘We make no distinction between one another of His Messengers’ — and they say, ‘We hear, and we obey. (We seek) Your forgiveness, our Lord, and to You is the return (of all).’

Allaah burdens not a person beyond his scope. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned. ‘Our Lord! Punish us not if we forget or fall into error, our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which You did lay on those before us (Jews and Christians); our Lord! Put not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Pardon us and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Mawlaa (Patron, Supporter and Protector) and give us victory over the disbelieving people”

[al-Baqarah 2:285-285]

And it was narrated in a saheeh report that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever recites Aayat al-Kursiy at night will have ongoing protection from Allaah and no devil will come near him until morning comes.” And it was also narrated in a saheeh report that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever recites the last two aayahs of Soorat al-Baqarah at night, that will suffice him.” The meaning – and Allaah knows best – is that that will be sufficient protection for him against all evil.

5 – Seeking refuge in the perfect words of Allaah from the evil of that which He has created, night and day and when stopping to rest anywhere, be it in the city, in the desert, in the air or on the sea. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever stops to rest and says, ‘A’oodhu bi kalimaat Allaah il-taammah min sharri ma khalaq (I seek refuge in the perfect words of Allaah from the evil of that which He has created),’ nothing will harm him until he moves on from that place.”

6 – The Muslim should say at the beginning of the day and the beginning of the night (three times): “Bismillaah alladhi laa yadurr ma’a ismihi shay’un fi’l-ardi wa laa fi’l-samaa’i wa huwa al-samee’ al-‘aleem (In the name of Allaah with Whose name nothing on earth or in heaven can cause harm, and He is the All-Hearing, All-Knowing).” According to saheeh reports, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) urged us to recite this, and this is a means of keeping safe from all evil.

These adhkaar and prayers for refuge are among the greatest means of warding off the evil of sihr (witchcraft) and other evils, for the one who recites them regularly with sincerity and faith, putting his trust in Allaah and depending upon Him, and being content with that.

They are also some of the most effective weapons for warding off sihr after it has happened, along with humbly beseeching Allaah constantly and asking Him to remove the harm and relieve the distress. Among the du’aa’s which have been narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to treat diseases such as sihr and other things is the ruqyah by means of which he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to treat his companions: “Allaahumma Rabb al-naas, adhhib il-ba’s, washfi anta al-Shaafi laa shifaa’a illa shifaa’uka shifaa’an laa yughaadir saqaman (O Allaah, Lord of mankind, remove the harm and heal him, for You are the Healer and there is no healing except Your healing, with a healing which does not leave any disease behind).” There is also the ruqyah by means of which Jibreel treated the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Bismillaah urqeeka min kulli shay’in yu’dheeka, wa min sharri kulli nafsin aw ‘aynin haasid Allaah yashfeek, bismillaah urqeek (In the name of Allaah I perform ruqyah for you, from every thing that is harming you, from the evil of every soul or envious eye may Allaah heal you, in the name of Allaah I perform ruqyah for you).” This should be repeated three times. And Allaah knows best.


Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat al-Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him), vol. 8

I DON'T NEED A COUNSELOR, I NEED A FRIEND

by Velma Cook


Life is full of pressure. I have to make money to be successful, whatever that means. So often people assess me superficially, not really knowing who I am and how I may have been terribly successful in some areas of my life, but they only see me according to their context; what they want to see. People ask 'How are you?' but don't usually care about the answer. They say 'Have a nice day,' but inwardly couldn't care less.

I have to be tolerant and flexible until I don't have any opinions left. Children must be trained to behave in a certain way so they will be 'acceptable' to society. I am also supposed to discover myself and my potential plus fulfill it or people will say I am oppressed, even though I may be perfectly happy as I am. At the same time I must be on my guard against advertising, brain-washing, political facades or I'll be guilty of being naive. One's spouse is supposed to be completely fulfilled with me or my marriage will break down.

No wonder I feel unsure of myself and often lonely. People say we all need counselors these days. Some therapy to help us through. But how can I spill the beans; tell all my secret insecurities and fears to a complete stranger, who has been trained to have no opinion, no bias, acting like a mirror to all my faults and weaknesses. A face with nothing behind it. It is like you sit and talk to yourself, pay the money and go home. You still feel lonely.

I need someone who thinks and feels like me. Dreams the same kinds of dreams, understands my fears and loves me anyway. Someone who will love me enough to tell me the truth, even if I don't really like it. I need a friend.

It's trendy to have a counselor or therapy nowadays. Why? Have we become obsessed with material possessions to the point that we leave behind the valuable things in life, like family and friends?

Families used to help each other financially. Now we have Social Security. Families used to protect and represent each other, now there are court cases for every trivial matter. A good way of making money out of people's problems, ignorance and misery. Families used to support each other, now we have counseling and therapy from strangers. Nearly everything has become controlled by the government and centralized yet people call the society 'free'.

Families are disintegrating and friends come and go, as we seek the world and all it contains, with a greed that is never satiated. Maybe if we focus on 'real' things, important things, like developing our Iman, deepening our submission to Allah, gaining knowledge and nurturing our families and those around us then, most of our overwhelming problems will simply disappear.


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This article was posted with the permission of the author, Velma Cook. For more articles written by Velma Cook, please check out her websites below. Jazakallah khairun.


Your Guide to Exploring Islam via the World Wide Web
http://www.islamicgarden.com
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Dead Hearts

Imaam ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah rahimahullaah
Taken from Al Jumuah, Vol 8 Issue

While thousands of Muslims are killed all over the world, and while tens of thousands are imprisoned and tortured for calling to the path of Allah and for enjoining the good and forbidding the evil, most Muslims remain remarkably silent and have no worry except for the material things of life. Their hearts have been filled with the love of this life and the forgetfulness of the Hereafter.

Allah says in the Qur'an: "You will indeed find them, of all people, most greedy of life, even more than those who do not believe in Resurrection. Each one of them wishes he could be given a life of a thousand years. But the grant of such life will not save him even a little from due punishment. For Allah sees well all that they do." (Al Baqarah, 2:96)



Many Muslims today have become so much attached to their life that their desire is to dwell among their family, house, money and commerce. They have forgotten that matters of the Hereafter should come before matters of this life and that we must strive to follow the orders of Allah, not just those we find easy and convenient to follow. Some Muslims today claim that it is better to perform extra prayers and extra fasting rather than enjoin the good and forbid the evil or defend the lives of weak Muslims. Such people would even blame the Muslims who strive to perform these obligations.



This is what Ibn al-Qayyim had to say about such people: ''The Shaitan has misled most people by beautifying for them the performance of certain voluntary acts of worship such as voluntary prayers and voluntary fasting while neglecting other obligatory acts of worship such as enjoining the good and eradicating the evil, to the extent that they do not even make the intention of performing them whenever they are able to. Such people are considered by the scholars to be on the bottom of the scale of religion: For the essence of our religion is to perform what Allah ordered us to do. The one who does not perform his obligations is actually worse than the one who performs sins. Anyone having some knowledge about the revelation of Allah, the guidance of the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, and the life of the companions would conclude that those who are pointed at today as the most pious people are in fact the least pious. Indeed, what kind of piety is there in a person who witnesses Allah's sanctities being violated, his religion abandoned, the Sunnah of His Messenger shunned, and yet remains still with a cold heart and a shut mouth' Such a person is like a dumb Shaitan! In the same way the one who talks falsehood is a speaking Shaitan. Isn't the misfortune of Islam due only to those who whenever their life and food are secure, would not care about what happens to the religion? The best among them would offer a sorry face. But if they were challenged in one of the things their heart is attached to like their money, they would spare no efforts to get it back. These people, besides deserving the anger of Allah, are afflicted with the greatest calamity without even knowing it: They have a dead heart. Indeed the more alive a person's heart is, the stronger its anger for the sake of Allah and the more complete his support to Islam and Muslims." (A'alaam al-Muwaqqi'een, volume 2, page 176).

Remaining Steadfast After Ramadan

By Shaykh Salih Al-Fouzan



Sufyan Ibn `Abdullah, may Allah be pleased with him, said: "O Messenger of Allah, tell me something about Islam, which I cannot ask anyone else besides you." He said: "Say: 'I believe in Allah' and then be steadfast (upon that)." [Sahih Muslim]
The Hadith is proof that the servant is obligated, after having Iman in Allah, to persevere and be steadfast upon obeying Him by performing the obligatory acts and avoiding the prohibited ones. This is achieved by following the Straight Path, which is the firm Religion without drifting away from it, to the right or to the left.
If the Muslim lives through Ramadan and spent his days in fasting and his nights in prayer and he accustomed himself to doing acts of good, then he must continue to remain upon this obedience to Allah at all times. This is the true state of the slave, for indeed, the Lord of the months is One and He is ever watchful and witnessing over his servants at all times.
Indeed, steadfastness after Ramadan and the rectification of one's statements and actions are the greatest signs that one has gained benefit from the month of Ramadan and striven in obedience. They are tokens of reception and signs of success.
Furthermore, the deeds of a servant do not come to an end with the end of a month and the beginning of another, rather they continue and extend until he reaches death. Allah says: {And worship your Lord until the certainty (death) comes to you}. (Al-Hijr: 99)
If the fasting of Ramadan comes to an end, then indeed the voluntary fasting is still prescribed throughout the entire year. If standing in prayer at night during Ramadan comes to an end, then indeed, the entire year is a time for performing the night prayer. And if the Zakat-ul-Fitr comes to an end, then there is still the Zakah that is obligatory as well as the voluntary charity that lasts the whole year. This goes the same for reciting the Qur'an and pondering over its meaning as well as every other righteous deed that is sought, for they can be done at all times. From the many bounties that Allah has bestowed upon his servants is that He has placed for them many different types of righteous acts and provided many means for doing good deeds. Therefore, the ardor and zeal of the Muslim must be constant and he must continue to remain in the service of his Lord.
It is unfortunate to find that some people perform worship by doing different types of righteous deeds during Ramadan. They guard strictly upon their five daily prayers in the Masjid, they recite the Qur'an a lot and they give in charity from their wealth. But when Ramadan comes to an end, they grow lazy in their worship. Rather, sometimes they even abandon the obligations, both generally, such as praying in congregation, and specifically, such as praying the Fajr prayer.
And they commit forbidden acts such as sleeping over the time of prayers, indulging in places of foolishness and entertainment, and mingling in parks, especially on the day of `Eid. Obtaining help from these evils is only through the grace of Allah. Thus, they demolish what they have constructed and destroy what they have established. This is an indication of deprivation and a sign of perdition. We ask Allah for His safeguarding and protection.
Indeed, this type of people take the example of turning in repentance and ceasing from committing evil deeds as something specific and restricted to the month of Ramadan. And they stop doing these (good) acts when the month stops. Thus, it is as if they have abandoned sinning for the sake of Ramadan, and not out of fear of Allah. How evil are these people who do not know Allah, except in Ramadan!
Truly, the success that Allah grants His servant lies in the fasting of Ramadan. His assisting him to do that is a great favor, thus the calls for the servant to be grateful to his Lord. This understanding can be found in the statement of Allah after completing the favor of the month of fasting:
{(He wants that you) must complete the same number of days, and that you must magnify Allah (by saying Allahu Akbar) for having guided you, so that you may be grateful to Him}. (Al-Baqarah: 185)
The one who is grateful for having fasted, will remain upon that condition and continue to perform righteous deeds.
Verily, the true way of the Muslim is that of one who praises and thanks his Lord for giving him the ability to fast and make Qiyam. His condition after Ramadan is better than it was before Ramadan. He is more receptive to obey, desiring to do good deeds and quick to enforce the obligatory acts. This is because he has gained benefit form this prominent institute of learning. It is that of one who fears for having his fast not accepted, for indeed Allah only accepts from those who fear Him.
The righteous predecessors would struggle to complete and perfect their deeds, hoping afterwards, that it would be accepted and fearing that it would be rejected. From the reports of `Ali, "Be more concerned with having your deeds accepted than the deed itself. Did you not hear Allah say: {Verily Allah, only accepts those from those who fear Him. ( i.e. possess Taqwa)}. [5: 27] "[Lata'if ul Ma`arif, p. 246]
`A'ishah said: "I asked the Messenger of Allah concerning the ayah: 'And the one who are given what they are given and their hearts tremble with fear.' Are they the ones who drink alcohol and steal?" He said: "No, o daughter of As-Siddiq. Rather, they are the ones who fast and pray and give in charity yet fear that it won't be accepted from them. They are the ones who rush to do good deeds and they are the first to do them." [Sahih Sunan At-Tirmidhi 3/79-80]
So be warned and again be warned of turning backward after having attained guidance of going astray after persevering. And ask Allah to provide you with duration in doing righteous deeds and continuity in performing good acts. And ask Allah that He grant you a good end, so that He may accept our Ramadan from us.