You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything. You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life. You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you. Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace. You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life. Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times. At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you. You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others. You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

What Temperment Are You?

I DON'T NEED A COUNSELOR, I NEED A FRIEND

I DON'T NEED A COUNSELOR, I NEED A FRIEND
by Velma Cook


Life is full of pressure. I have to make money to be successful, whatever that means. So often people assess me superficially, not really knowing who I am and how I may have been terribly successful in some areas of my life, but they only see me according to their context; what they want to see. People ask 'How are you?' but don't usually care about the answer. They say 'Have a nice day,' but inwardly couldn't care less.

I have to be tolerant and flexible until I don't have any opinions left. Children must be trained to behave in a certain way so they will be 'acceptable' to society. I am also supposed to discover myself and my potential plus fulfill it or people will say I am oppressed, even though I may be perfectly happy as I am. At the same time I must be on my guard against advertising, brain-washing, political facades or I'll be guilty of being naive. One's spouse is supposed to be completely fulfilled with me or my marriage will break down.

No wonder I feel unsure of myself and often lonely. People say we all need counselors these days. Some therapy to help us through. But how can I spill the beans; tell all my secret insecurities and fears to a complete stranger, who has been trained to have no opinion, no bias, acting like a mirror to all my faults and weaknesses. A face with nothing behind it. It is like you sit and talk to yourself, pay the money and go home. You still feel lonely.

I need someone who thinks and feels like me. Dreams the same kinds of dreams, understands my fears and loves me anyway. Someone who will love me enough to tell me the truth, even if I don't really like it. I need a friend.

It's trendy to have a counselor or therapy nowadays. Why? Have we become obsessed with material possessions to the point that we leave behind the valuable things in life, like family and friends?

Families used to help each other financially. Now we have Social Security. Families used to protect and represent each other, now there are court cases for every trivial matter. A good way of making money out of people's problems, ignorance and misery. Families used to support each other, now we have counseling and therapy from strangers. Nearly everything has become controlled by the government and centralized yet people call the society 'free'.

Families are disintegrating and friends come and go, as we seek the world and all it contains, with a greed that is never satiated. Maybe if we focus on 'real' things, important things, like developing our Iman, deepening our submission to Allah, gaining knowledge and nurturing our families and those around us then, most of our overwhelming problems will simply disappear.

Dua for Anxiety and Grief

Salamu alaykum,

If you suffer from anxiety, grief, depression, then say this supplication with yakeen (certainty) that Allah will remove the distress from you. I say this one all the time and it works al hamdulilaah. 'Morbid' I want you to start saying this dua whenever you're feeling real down inshallah.

It was reported from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No person suffers any anxiety or grief, and says the supplication below but Allaah will take away his sorrow and grief, and give him in their stead joy:

‘Allaahumma innee ‘abduka wa ibn ‘abdika wa ibn amatika, naasiyati bi yadika, maadin fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka, as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘andak an taj’ala al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi (O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every Name belonging to You which You named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety)’ - but Allaah will take away his sorrow and grief, and give him in their stead joy.”(Ahmad 1/391 and Al-Albaanee declared it sahih.)

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Imam Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya said about this dua in his book 'The Provisions of the Hereafter' that the verse, "Lord: I am Thy servant, whose father and mother are thy servants..." embodies the core of knowledge and recognition of Allah Almighty, and the secrets of worship, and no single book can ever detail their full meaning. Yet, this prayer is full of recognition of who is God, and in it, the worshipper calling upon His Lord, acknowledges his Creator, and presents himself as Allah's servant, and the son of His servants. The caller also places things where they belong by recognizing that his fate is in Allah's Hand; that his destiny is moving according to the divine plan; that Allah Almighty does whatever He pleases with it; that the servant can neither bring benefits nor harm to himself; that he cannot bring about his own birth, death, or resurrection; that his destiny is in Allah's Hand; that he has no power to alter it except as Allah wills; that he is totally dependent on his Creator, Cherisher, Sustainer, and Lord; that his own existence is subject to whatever Allah Almighty decrees; and that Allah is just, and what He wills shall be.

Imam Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya then explains the next part of the dua: "My fate is in Thy Hand, and my destiny is moving according to Thy plan. Thou art indeed just in Thy judgment..."This section of the prayer embodies two cardinal aspects which are the core of the doctrine of monotheism (Tawheed): (1) the first is the recognition and confirmation of fate, and that Allah's decree regarding His servant shall unfailingly come into force, and that the servant cannot escape it or repel it; and (2) the second aspect proclaims that Allah is just, that He does not oppress His servants, and that what He decrees is due by virtue of divine justice and knowledge of such needs. This is because injustice represents the need, ignorance, incompetence, weakness, and inferiority of an unjust person, and therefore, such attributes are not divine, and they cannot come from one who is omniscient, All-Knowing, wise, and has no needs. Hence, Allah's wisdom is operative wherever His will is ordained. Allah is rich beyond any need, and everything is poor and seeks its nourishment from Him. He is All-Wise, and there is not a single atom throughout the entire universes where His will is not operative. The absolute dependence of each and every cell in the entire creation, and their soliciting of their support and sustenance from the sole and only provider requires their gratitude. Hence gratitude (shukur) is rewarded with blessings and ingratitude (kufr) is rewarded with disapprobation and consequent punishment for the non repenting ones.

When the unrepenting and ungrateful disbelievers and idol worshipers threatened Allah's Prophet Hud, peace be upon him, to invoke the curse of their deities upon him, he replied: I call Allah to witness and you bear witness that I am innocent regarding what you ascribe as partners to Him. Therefore, scheme (Your worst) against me and grant me no respite. I put my trust in Allah, my Lord and your Lord. There is not a moving creature whose forelock is not (held firmly) in His Hand. My Lord is surely on a straight path, (Qur'an 11:54-56)--meaning that Allah's power which is unlimited and unrestrained is operative over all creatures, and no one can withstand His decree. He alone has the power to move them as He pleases, and He does so rightly, justly, wisely and mercifully.

In this prayer, the servants proclamation: "My destiny is moving according to Thy plan," means the same as 'There is not a moving creature whose forelock is not (held firmly) in His Hand,' and his saying: "Thou art indeed just in Thy judgment, " is also parallel to 'My lord is surely on a straight path.' Furthermore, Allah's Messenger (pbuh) calls in this prayer upon Allah's most holy Names and the divine attribute He proclaimed in His kingdom, revealed in a Book, taught to a privileged servant or kept as His sole secret, so that no angel of the nearest and most exalted status and no prophet or messenger has ever known to ask by it. Such invocation surpasses all supplications, and of all prayers is the dearest to Him, and most worthy of immediate reply, because it proves the servant's knowledge and recognition of his Lord.

Allah's messenger (pbuh) then prayed to Allah Almighty to make the glorious Qur'an the prime of his heart, meaning the spiritual food of his body, mind, and soul, and through it, to wash away, dispel, and cure his stresses, worries, and concerns, making it the one conclusive medicine that will extract illnesses, and restore the human being to his true status and balance. Hence, he asked his Lord to make the Qur'an the light of his soul that removes any corrosion that tarnishes his clarity and wisdom, and that polishes his heart. Such medicine works only if the patient is truthful in his asking for it, sincere in his trust in its effectiveness and uses it as prescribed by his physician. Hence, Allah willing the correct use of the medicine will certainly be followed by complete recovery, excellent health and vitality and Allah is the Supreme helper.


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About Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim Al-Jawziyya



His full name is Muhammad ibn Abi Bakr, son of Ayyoub, son of Sa'ad al-Zar'i, al-Dimashqi, patronymed as Abu 'Abdullaah Shamsu-Deen, and known as Ibn al-Qaqqim al-Jawziyaa. He was born in Damascus, Syria in 691 A.H. and he studied under his father who was the local attendant of al-Jawziyya school. He also studied under the great Imam and scholar Imam Taqiyyu-Deen Ahmad ibn Taimiyyah who kept him as his closest student and disciple, and Ibn Al-Qayyim later became his successor.

Ibn al-Qayyim catered to all the branches of Islamic sciences and was particularly known and commended for his commentaries on the Qur'an, hadiths, and fiqh.

HELP ME! My World is Falling Apart

I feel frantic like my world is caving in on me. Everything is falling apart and nothing is coming together. Help is only with Allah, My Sustainer. I remember the call of Prophet Jacob, "I only complain of my distress to Allah and I know from Allah that which ye know not." (qala inna ma ashkoo bathee wa huznee illah laah)

I call on Allah to ease my suffering as only He can ease the suffering of His devoted servants. Only I'm not devoted, I'm not worthy, I'm not of the patient or the steadfast. I'm striving to just be...

I know 'qala inna ma ashkoo bathee wa huznee illah laah'. I only complain of my distress to Allah and I know from Allah that which ye know not.

What can a believing servant do, when the pain becomes unbearable? 'Qala inna ma ashkoo bathee wa huznee illah laah'.

Call on Allah in prayer - Make a prayer of deep devotion supplicating to Allah and begging Allah for Mercy. As only He can give Mercy to his devoted servants. Make wudu the way the prophet (peace be upon him) taught. Don't be hasty in making wudu and think of it inshallah as your last wudu. The wudu that you want to perfect for Allah, the Lord and Sustainer of the Worlds. After making wudu, begin your prayer with deep devotion, recite a long surah and take your time. When prostrating make dua asking Allah to ease your pain. Recite all of the duas of the distressed. As only Allah can ease the pain of the one in distress. Pray this prayer as if this is your last and supplicate and beseech Allah much, calling on Allah with His most beautiful names, 'Al Hayyu Al Qiyuum.'

When you finish your prayer, continue calling and beseeching Allah with the duas of the distressed (click here to see them). Then read through the hadith of the prophet describing how the companions of the prophet (peace be upon him) coped with stress (click here for hadiths).

True Story of Panic Attacks

This is the true story of a Muslim woman who suffers from Panic attacks. It is a very real disorder and one that requires the help of Allah, a lot of inner strength and kindness from others to overcome.

One day Dina was driving to work and she didn't feel well. She had heart palpitations, numbness in my hands, feet and face and felt dizzy. She had the feeling that she was going to die. Dina stopped off at her friend's house because she wanted to rest. She tried deep breathing to relax and that helped a bit. This feeling came like uncontrollable waves that she just had to persevere through.

Her husband came and took her to the hospital. Her heart was fine, blood pressure was excellent and no sugar problems. The blood work showed that she was disgustingly healthy! They sent here home, telling her that she was just really tired.

She knew she wasn't imagining these symptoms but had no idea what was wrong with her. She rested as much as possible and staggered to the kitchen to cook simple things for the children. But she prayed more and read more Qu'ran, preparing herself for death, as that was how she felt. She tried taking more vitamins, and natural foods. She stopped all caffeine, sugar and chemical additives, and ate a lot of fruit and salads with just a little protein and carbohydrate. Her system was so sensitive that if she ate heavily or any sugar, she would get another attack. Dina would soak all kinds of beans and lentils and eat them uncooked. It doesn't taste so bad.

One day she called my husband and told him she couldn't take care of the kids anymore and to take them to her friend's house. Then he started to panic! She suggested he take her to a psychiatrist because she knew that it was somehow related to her mind. She had the feeling that she might lose control. She used to lie down, look at something in the room and concentrate on it , until the attack passed, or read Qur'an in Arabic, something which requires a lot of concentration for her as it is not her first language. Sometimes the attacks would take up to five hours. It was terrible. She has a wonderful friend who couldn't come to see her when she was sick, but she phoned everyday at least twice. Those phone calls meant so much. She used to wait for her call. She'd also lay down and close her eyes and listen to the world around. The birds, the boy watering the garden downstairs, the dogs and children playing. She realized she'd been too busy to appreciate the simple things in life.

She saw a woman Professor of Psychiatry. She was really nice and told her she was having panic attacks (anxiety attacks). She said there was no known cause for them. It is an imbalance in the chemicals of the brain and is associated with the adrenal glands. It is where stress takes on physiological symptoms. A lot of stress for a long duration of time can trigger them off and the body starts spurting out adrenaline without any need. She said Dina wouldn't feel any difference for five days after beginning the medicine. Those five days felt like five years. She'll be on the medicine for about a year. She told Dina that she had a mild case!

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This article was posted with the permission of the author, Velma Cook.

Patience in Adversity

As'salamu alaykum,


At any given moment, a person is in a situation where he has to obey a command of Allah, or he has to stay away from something which Allah has prohibited, or he has to accept a decree of Allah, or he has to give thanks for a blessing he has received from Allah. All of these situations demand patience, so up until the time of death, no one can do without patience. Whatever happens to us in life is either in accordance with our wishes and desires, or against them. In both cases, patience is required.

If a person enjoys good health, security, power, wealth and fulfillment of physical desires, he should not assume that this time of ease will last forever, and he should not let his good fortune make him arrogant, extravegent or careless in a way that Allah does not like. He should not devote all his time, money and energy to the pursuit of physical pleasure, because too much pleasure results in pain. He should take care to pay what is due to Allah in the way of zakat and sadaqah, otherwise Allah might take away His blessing. All of this takes patience and nobody can exercise patience at a time of ease except people of strong faith.

May Allah make us of the as-siddiqun and sabireen.

Relieving Stress and Anxiety

The life of a muslim is all about stress and anxiety and going through trials.
As believers we know we will be tested by Allah and sometimes we may feel like giving up but we must continue striving.

For those of us undergoing stress and anxiety or any of the other mental illnesses we must recognize the reality of Allah's promise that he does not place a burden on us greater than we can bear. This promise is found in Surah Baqarah in the Qur'an. When things get hard I always remember this reality and then recognize that while this trial is hard, I can bear it and I will survive with the help of Allah.

Can you offer any solutions or suggestions as to what you do when the going gets tough and despair seeps in?